Nathan Berton
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- Mustache Name
- Pedro for President
- Age
- 24
- What is Your Hometown?
- Charlotte, NC
- Mustache Inspiration
- Middle schoolers who haven't learned to shave, the one shining moment in the 70s when my dad grew one, and my coworkers who constantly surround me in beautiful, beautiful mustaches.
- Number of Mustaches Grown
- 0
- Hobbies
- Watching the Heels, woodworking, and checking out my stache in the mirror.
- Does your significant other like your mustache?
- I guess I can find a new one.
- My mustache makes me look like...
- Luigi, Dov Charney, Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite.
- What would you consider to be the optimal accessory for your Mustache?
- A criminal record.
- Jason Giambi: Steroid-freak, yet friend of the Mustache. Are you conflicted?
- Although Giambi will not discuss his reasons for using steroids right now, I am convinced that when he finally comes clean, he will tell us that he did it because he knew at some point he would be growing a mustache for charity and needed the extra testosterone boost for his facial hair abilities. Cut him some slack, think of the children.
- In what setting will you be / are you most proud of your mustache?
- My family takes holiday card pictures over Thanksgiving, and my glorious two-weeker will get to display its radiance for that photo.
- Mustaches and Full-size vans: Creepy, or poised to make a
come-back?
- A whole lot of both.
- With a looming financial crisis, how do you anticipate your mustache making a difference (in a macro-economic sense)?
- My mustache can cure disease when rubbed on your forehead. The resulting reduction in health care costs will be a major boon to consumer spending. Unemployment will rise briefly due to the influx of medical workers reentering the labor market, but the additional skilled labor will allow the US to compete on the global market, leading to a trading surplus and a golden age of prosperity.